When Life Deals Out Bad Hands

When Life Deals Out Bad Hands

They say life is good, but not everyone can find the truth in
a statement that in many cases can be looked at as one-sided. Life is
like a game of Spades; you've got some that may have the best hands
dealt out when there's that one with the messed up hand that's not by
choice. While some are born with silver spoons, many dream and pray
for that same spoon & comfortable life filled with love, laughter,
security, & most of all; family. A mother who's the best mother she
could ever be to her children and a father who would always hold up
to his promises and never leave his family. Sounds like a picturesque
fairytale that always concludes with a happily ever after ending & a
beautiful sunshine that keeps our lives shinning bright.

While there are living testimonies behind the good, there are
living testimonies behind the bad. The one's whose eyes have seen
more than what they should've seen & ears who've heard things that
they shouldn't have heard. What you know about a testimony that
includes all forms of abuse from sexual to physical? Well if you've
never heard a testimony like that then you're not apart of this world
because in the real world, these events are taking place in homes
across the world. All races, cultures, & creeds are becoming victims
to what life deals them whether it is a dysfunctional household to
excessive drug use.

I guess with these types of issues, you would expect it to only
affect the low income families, but abuse sees no class or stature
because there are plenty of victims who come from upper & middle
class homes. Regardless of the race or background, many children's
lives are being corrupted by hardships, verbal abuse, physical abuse,
& neglect. With these terrible situations, these children grow up
with deep rooted scars that can A: change them for the better or B:
who will continue to live hard & rough because they feel like there's
no other way. This is the life they know and with that stored in
their mental storages, they take on the same experiences and continue
to allow the negative to build.

It seems like once a child has been sexually abused, they grow up
with lack of self-esteem in search for the love that was lacked in
the household. That's when little girls grow up to young women who
bounce from man to man thinking that sex will achieve real love when
in actuality it isn't. Little boys will grow up to be young men in
search for that positive role model to teach them what it takes to be
a man, but the only influences that they have around them are usually
dope boys, pimps, hustlers, & thugs. A lot of these boys who will
turn into men, a huge percentage of them are born into fatherless
families with no choice but to take on the responsibilities as the
man of the house. A mother can only do so much when it comes to
raising sons, but it takes a man to show that boy how to be a man and
when that positive role model isn't handy, then they gravitate to
what's available in their environment.

Whatever the circumstances may be, just know that there is hope in
changing your life for the better. Madea said it best when she said
It's not where you come from, it's where you're going and I'm a firm
believer in that because dreams can come true and life is definitely
what you make it. Don't allow your past trials & tribulations stunt
your growth when it comes to striving for better. Take it from me,
I've came from a single parent home with a mother who was obligated
to the military without a father figure in my life. I've also
overcame mental, emotional, physical, & sexual abuse. I know what
it's like to be hungry and without lights, and I've even experienced
being homeless.

Not only have I've dealt with the abuse from my mother, I've also
dealt with major abuse from past relationships. I've been manipulated
& taken advantage of by folks who claimed to have loved me or cared
about me. I've endured plenty heartache and let downs in my life, but
I can't allow the past to jeopardize my future. I take all the bad in
stride and flipped it into something positive, I guess that's why
I've been blessed with the talent of writing because my shell has
been through & seen a lot of drama to relay into stories. God takes
us through things for a reason and I guess in order for me to be able
to write about pain, love, let downs, betrayal, & sex, I've had to go
through the journey in order to learn from it and apply it to
something that can be beneficial to someone else.

I don't want to say that I was dealt out a bad hand, but my life
wasn't filled with white picket fences, servants, & nannies, I was
introduced to something called reality and my reality just happened
to involve a lot of things that have broken me & have molded me to
the person I am today. In my younger years, I chose to run to a gang
because I was seeking acceptance, love, & something I could look at
as a family. My decisions to bang was my decision and I wouldn't
change it because it took for my eyes to see the negative sides of
gangbanging and it took for me to have those experiences in order for
me to change for the better. Thank god I've never been locked up, but
during the years of being associated to the street game, I've watched
a lot of lives become lost due to the violence. I could have been
killed or could have became lost in the system behind taking someone
else's life, but with the strength and the grace of god, I took all
of those negatives and flipped it into something positive.

So whatever you go through in life, always know that the light is
always at the end of the tunnel and that you can survive the storm.
Life is what you make it and even though the devil can build up
plenty of road blocks in your life, its up to you to make that change
and reclaim your life from not having a pot to piss in & a window to
throw it out of to making something of yourself and claiming your
own. I wanted to come share these words with you all because this
subject was definitely heavy on my heart. So if you ever feel like
you're all alone in this struggle we call life, don't be because
there is always somebody who can relate to what you're going through.
It's like the Keyshia Cole song; just know that I'm just like you.

Alicia C. McGhee